Canine Top 10 Tips – Turning Petsitters Into Servants

Little did Gavin and Jill know before housesitting for Snoop the Beagle that she has ways for turning petsitters into servants. In this article she shares her top 10 tips for managing her sitters into some appropriate behaviours.

Turning Petsitters Into Servants – The Ways of Snoop

G”day the name is Snoop Dog,

I’m 9 years old, actually my birthday is this month, and I’m a Beaglier, with parents who I have lovingly trained in the ways of Snoop. Now the only reason I’m telling you all this is to establish my Snoop cred and experience for what I’m about to let you in on.

You see, while I have put a lot of time and effort into parent training, they like to travel, and sometimes without me. However during these times they get in Pet Sitters, and have done so since I was one year old. As a matter of fact for the most part they get the same sitters, which is great because I have dedicated so much time into educating them in the ways of Snoop.

Ok now we have that out of the way I’m going to let you in on my Top Ten Tips for turning petsitters into Servants.

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1 Second Breakfast

Over the years I have perfected this, it’s more like Snoop uses the force… But it’s also trainable. You see I get breakfast and dinner, every day at the same time, with a treat or two in-between, but when the sitters arrive we have a golden opportunity.

Now the trick to this is confusion and confidence.

Step 1: Eat your actual breakfast like normal. No funny business. This builds trust.

Step 2: Wait approximately 47 minutes. This is critical. Not 30… not an hour… 47.

Step 3: Approach sitter slowly. Sit. Stare. Don’t blink.

Now here’s where the magic happens… tilt the head slightly like you’ve just been emotionally abandoned.

If they say “Didn’t you already eat?” — boom — eye contact intensifies. Maybe add a soft sigh.

9 times out of 10 they crack.

Congratulations… you now have Second Breakfast.

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2 Walk This Way

Now your parents… amateurs. Two walks a day. Predictable. Boring.

Sitters? Fresh meat.

The key here is to create urgency where none exists.

Start by pacing. Not too obvious. Just a casual wander past the leash. Then sit near the door. Then back to pacing. Build tension. Eventually you hit them with the look. You know the one. The “if we don’t go out right now I may never emotionally recover” look.

Once they cave and take you out, DO NOT get tired. This is important.

When you get back… drink water… rest exactly 12 minutes… then repeat the entire process.

If executed correctly, you can double your daily walks. Triple if the sitter is new and slightly insecure.

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3 Vary That Dinner

Consistency is the enemy of greatness.

Your parents probably serve the same dinner every night. Dry food. Maybe something fancy on Sundays if you’re lucky.

Sitters however… they’re trying to impress. This is where you elevate your game.

Night one: eat normally. Again… build trust.

Night two: hesitate. Sniff. Walk away. Return. Repeat.

Now the sitter panics. “Maybe he doesn’t like it?”

Exactly.

Next thing you know… a little chicken appears. Maybe some mince. Perhaps even a splash of something gourmet turning petsitters into canine chefs.

You’ve now unlocked Custom Meals Mode.

From here, you just need to maintain unpredictability. Some nights demolish everything. Other nights act like you’re reviewing a five-star restaurant and they’ve disappointed you personally.

Keep them guessing. Keep them cooking.

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4 Rise And Shine

This one is all about time manipulation.

Your parents may have you on a schedule… but sitters? Their internal clock is weak.

At approximately 5:42am… initiate Phase One.

Soft movement. Nails lightly tapping the floor. Enough to disturb… not enough to wake.

Phase Two… a gentle sigh. Like life is heavy. Like you’ve seen things.

Phase Three… the nose nudge. Direct contact. No turning back now.

If they ignore you… escalate to repositioning yourself as close to their face as physically possible. Eventually they will wake. Repeat, turning petsitters into insomniacs.

And once they’re up… game over. The day has begun.

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5 The Couch Position

Ah yes… the throne.

Now some homes have “rules” about dogs on couches. Cute.

But rules are just suggestions waiting to be challenged.

With sitters, you must move quickly. First night… test boundaries. Jump up casually.

If they say nothing… you’ve won.

If they hesitate… slowly lower yourself down like you’re doing them a favour. Then try again later.

Once access is granted, claim your position. Not the corner… not the edge… dead centre. Maximum inconvenience.

Stretch out. Sigh loudly. Shed a little for effect.

Now here’s the power move… when they try to sit, do not move. Just look at them like they’re the problem.

This establishes dominance and ensures long-term couch control.

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6 The Toy Rotation System

Now listen carefully… this separates amateurs from professionals.

Most dogs have toys. But do they use them strategically? No.

You must create the illusion that you have very specific emotional needs tied to each toy.

Day one: only engage with one toy. Guard it. Love it. It is your identity.

Day two: completely ignore it. Choose another.

Now the sitter starts thinking:

“Does he not like the first one anymore?”

“Is he bored?”

“Should I… buy more toys?”

Yes. Yes you should.

Before you know it… new toys appear. Rotations increase. Options expand.

You’ve successfully manipulated the toy economy.

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7 The Strategic Sad Face

This is advanced level Snoop behaviour.

The sad face is not to be overused. That’s rookie stuff. It must be deployed with precision.

Best times to use it:

• When sitter is eating

• When sitter is on their phone

• When sitter is about to leave the house

Sit slightly away. Not too close. Then slowly turn your eyes toward them.

Do not wag your tail. This is serious business.

Use wisely.

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8 Bathroom Escort Protocol

Now this one confuses humans… and that’s exactly why it works.

Every time the sitter moves… you follow. Every. Time.

Bathroom? You’re there.

Kitchen? Already ahead of them.

Bedroom? Don’t even think about closing that door.

This creates a sense of importance and responsibility in the sitter.

They begin to think:

“He needs me.”

“He trusts me.”

No… you’re just supervising.

But the emotional impact is real… and it strengthens your control over their movements.

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9 The Selective Hearing Technique

Critical skill.

You must respond instantly to certain words:

“Walk”

“Treat”

“Dinner”

But ignore everything else:

“Snoop come here” — silence.

“Get off that” — suddenly you’re deaf.

This creates the illusion that you’re both intelligent AND independent.

Sitters will try different tones… different approaches… even question themselves.

Meanwhile you’re just sitting there like a king deciding if it’s worth your time.

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10 The Departure Guilt Trip

Ah… the finale. The masterpiece.

When the sitter is leaving… this is your moment.

Stand by the door. Don’t jump. Don’t get excited.

Just look at them. Deep. Meaningful. Slightly disappointed.

As if to say…

“You’re leaving? After everything we’ve been through?”

If executed correctly, you may achieve:

• Extra pats

• Delayed departure

• Return visits sooner than scheduled

In some cases… lifelong emotional attachment.

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So there you have it… Snoop’s top 10 tips for turning petsitters into servants.

And that… is the way of Snoop.

By Gavin Merritt

Bio

Mid-Life, we all live to 120, No?  Celebrating 15 years full-time Nomad travel this July… still no fixed address, but plenty of fur-covered clothes. Full time house pet sitter, unpaid pet servant, occasional human and still in search of the purfect lifestyle.

Pro Tip:- If you think you own your pets… I’ve got stories and Snoop is just one.

Further Reading

At Housesit Match.com we always try to share useful and informative blogs and practical advice with our members. Read on to find some helpful articles with useful tips for dog owners and dog sitters alike such as this one on turning petsitters into slaves.

Adopting a dog – 5 lifestyle changes to make

Dog sit – What is it and where can you go?

Dogsitters’ tips – Dog’s body language and how to read it

The Affordable Alternative to Dog Kennels

What is House Sitting?